


Hal Gets A New Uniform Design

by Val9000



Category: DCU (Comics), Green Lantern - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Clark and Diana are in there as well but not enough for me to tag them, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Hal did ballet in this fic when he was a child, Hal is a stereotypical anime superhero girl, I didn't write it seriously but it's treated seriously, Which makes more sense when you read the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 21:18:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16167158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val9000/pseuds/Val9000
Summary: Kyle confronts Hal about his weird anatomically incorrect poses he makes when he floats in the air/space. Which spurns a new costume design - Batman isn't impressed but he's not the main focus of this. Hal and his poses and new costume is the main focus.





	Hal Gets A New Uniform Design

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Feel free to mention other crack prompts in the comments if you want me to write them. You can ask me for certain p.o.vs, characters, ships (although I'll mainly stick to Hal/Barry but we'll see about other ships) and how serious you want me to treat the prompt and I'll try my best to get it done.

“Hal why do you always float like that? That cannot be a comfortable position.” Kyle’s voice comes from next to him. 

“What do you mean?” Hal asks as he turns to look at Kyle properly, frowning.

“Your body’s all…” Kyle gestures at his entire body, looking lost for words. “It shouldn’t be able to bend like that, comfortably.”

“Well it is comfortable.” If he’s a little defensive, he thinks it’s reasonable. 

“Your entire chest is out. And your limbs… I can’t place it but you look like…”

“It’s ‘cause he’s mimicking those anime superhero girl poses or whatever.” Guy says, coming out of nowhere. 

Kyle looks speechless – like he’s in shock. Hal’s pretty sure he also looks like that. He begins to open his mouth to defend himself further when Guy continues.

“And he did ballet.”

Another few seconds of shocked silence before Kyle starts to laugh and Hal starts talking “Okay first of all-!”

He’s cut off when Kyle shouts, “You’re right! That’s what I was thinking of!”

“Okay first of all!” He yells over the tail-end of Kyle’s sentence. “It’s not anime! Second of all, how did you know I did ballet?”

Kyle’s still laughing and Hal’s beginning to get offended. Guy’s just floating there grinning, staring at Hal. It’s unnerving. 

“I was actually pretty good so stop laughing!” He yells at Kyle who finally calms himself down. 

“Oh I know. You were the best in the class.” Guy agrees, a little too knowingly for it to be a joke. 

“How do you know that?” He repeats because really this is too much. He just wanted to finish dealing with clean up and then go home and sleep or something. But now clean up is done and instead he’s here defending his childhood activity to Kyle who really has no room to be laughing. 

“It’s the anime girl pose I’m laughing at!” Kyle manages to get out but he’s not focussed on Kyle right now. He’s staring Guy down as Guy stares back. 

“Your class went on tour, remember? Came down to good ole’ Baltimore. I went and saw.” 

“Out of all the people…” Hal mutters, head in his hands.

“Hey! You were pretty good!” Guy says as if that makes up for it. He’s teasing him, Hal knows. Guy loves tormenting him and he’s honestly surprised it hasn’t come up earlier.

“I’m surprised you remembered.” 

“Now how could I forget something like that? It’s like my brain knew I’d need that info for later.” 

“Maybe your brain just didn’t forget because my performance was too amazing.” 

“Maybe!” 

“I can’t believe you did ballet!” Kyle exclaims, suddenly caught up to that part of the conversation. “You did ballet and you pose like stereotypical women superheroes.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with that!” Hal snaps. 

\--

“You have to let me design you a new costume now.” Kyle says, cornering Hal in his apartment. 

“I didn’t let you in for that.” Kyle is pushing past him to sit on his couch, patting the space next to him. Hal reluctantly follows. 

“Please?” Kyle has his sketchbook in his hands and is already opening it. Hal tries not to let Kyle know just how much he wants to accept without a problem. But he needs to put up some fuss – he has a reputation. 

“No. Get out of my house.” 

\--

“You’ll need a boob window.” Kyle states out of the blue while they’re at the watchtower. 

“Why? My uniform is tight enough that my tits are already out.” Hal’s responding before he really thinks about it. It makes Kyle laugh but Superman is definitely looking at him weirdly. 

“And your ass.” He hears Guy say from behind him. Hal decides to wait until Guy has finished walking to stand in front of him before glaring at him. “And your dick.” Guy is grinning at him suggestively in a way Hal doesn’t really like. So he forms a construct hand to cover Guy’s face. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” 

Guy brushes the construct away easily but at least he’s looking at his face now. 

“Look I understand what you’re saying Hal, but everyone has tight uniforms. You need to step it up. Show some skin. Besides – it’ll fit in with your poses. If you’re going to pose like that you need the costume to go with it.” Kyle is being quite rational and he wants to give in but he knows he needs to wait just a bit longer.

“I’m not posing! I’m just floating!” 

“We’re going to make you sexy.” Kyle states confidently, as if he didn’t hear Hal’s outburst.

“I thought I was already sexy.” He can distantly hear Guy laughing but he’s actively not paying attention to Guy anymore.

“Yeah but everyone here is sexy too. You need to step it up.” 

“Okay. How can I argue with that logic?” 

“You can’t.” Guy wheezes from the side and Hal sends another hand construct his way but this time to push him away. God maybe if John was here, right now, he could stop this from happening but Kyle is grabbing his hand and pulling him to a desk and Guy is following along behind them so it looks like Hal’s getting a costume upgrade. 

\--

“Give him a crop top.” Guy suggests and Kyle mutters a “good idea” before hurriedly sketching one. 

“Why a crop top?” 

“Shows off your abs.” Guy states absently, watching Kyle drawing. “And it’ll look cool. Give him shorter pants.” 

“Can I have gloves?” 

“How long?”

“Uh matching how long my boots are I guess.”

“Past your elbows. Got it.” 

“Give him one of those tiaras.” Guy sends him a grin and he flips him off but doesn’t say no. Guy knows what he wants and it’s annoying. He won’t let Guy know that, though, otherwise he’ll be insufferable. Because he’s sure Guy’s just trying to make him embarrassed. 

“Ooooh! Bows as well!” Guy’s looking at him now like he’s expecting Hal to disagree with him. Like he’s expecting Hal to draw the line and start a fight. Hal, instead, tries not to blush from the fact that Guy’s pulling this design straight from Hal’s head before he even knows it’s what he wants. Because that’s the embarrassing part – that Guy Who He Hates apparently knows Hal so well. Even if he’s pretty sure Guy’s only picking this stuff to try and cross a line. But Hal will gladly wear whatever costume they end up giving him – stereotypically girly or not. 

“Put the GL logo on my tiara or something. I don’t want it underneath the boob window and we don’t want it split.”

“That’s not obvious enough, though.” Kyle says, finally pulling back from his sketch and frowning at Hal.

“Well I don’t know. Above the boob window? There’s room there, right?” Kyle seems satisfied at that and dives back in to his drawing. “I still want it on the tiara.” 

Guy leans behind Kyle to nudge at Hal and Hal feels his eye twitch. Guy’s grin has been pretty constant the entire day but somehow when Hal looks over at him it seems wider. That’s not good news for him.

“I bet the only reason you’re still with the corps is because you get to say the oath every time you charge your ring like an anime superhero girl.”

“It’s not an anime thing. Kyle’s the one who’s watching anime.” His attempt to divert the conversation from him doesn’t work. Kyle isn’t really listening and if anything his attempt to dodge the accusation makes Guy look smug. 

“I’m right!” He looks positively gleeful and absolutely smug. Hal throws another construct hand at Guy – hopefully to push him off his chair – but Guy counters this one. 

“Shut up.” 

\--

He doesn’t think Guy really believed him when he said he’d wear it. Which is confirmed when Guy’s jaw drops when he spots him. The high heels are a little difficult to walk in and it’s the most non-practical suit he’s ever worn but Guy’s incredulous look is worth it a thousand times over. Kyle’s grinning, though. Even claps his hands a little although he’s pretty sure Kyle’s congratulating his design rather than Hal for wearing it.

He gets a lot of stares but no one really confronts him until Batman. He’s pretty sure Guy is trailing after him with Kyle and hopes they’re in earshot for this conversation.

“Green Lantern your… uniform… is extremely non-practical. You should change it back.” 

“You’re just jealous that I can pull this off and you can't.” He sees Clark choke on his water when he says that and feels his smile widening. He puts his hands on his hips. “I mean what’s the problem, Bruce? Women can wear these sorts of outfits but I can’t?” 

What Hal’s implying shuts him up and Hal tries not to burst out laughing until after Bruce is out of earshot. Clark wanders over once he’s gone.

“I like your new outfit.” 

“Thank you! It was designed by Kyle and Guy. If you’re looking for upgrades to your own costume, make sure to ask them.” He pats Clark on the shoulder then continues his walk through the Watchtower. 

\--

There’s a robbery on earth that finishes as soon as Hal goes down to stop it. The man is apparently too shocked to struggle when Hal puts him in construct handcuffs. Kyle cheers from the side and Guy’s finally getting over his own shock – looking angry instead. He doesn’t want to deal with that right now, though. He’ll tease Guy later – to make up for Guy’s teasing the day before. 

“Are you doing that on purpose?” Kyle asks, flying over to him, excitement on his face. 

“What?”

“Your pose!” 

“Oh…” Hal looks down at himself. “No. I thought we already established that this was my natural floating position?” 

“You look like something straight outa an anime.” Guy grumbles from beside Kyle. 

“You’re just upset because now you have to confront the fact that you find me attractive.” Hal's expecting the punch which makes it easier to dodge. 

“Your entire dick is out.” Guy continues. 

“No it isn’t. I’m wearing pants.”

“Skin tight and short enough that you could’ve fooled me.”

“Why are you looking at my dick, Guy?” 

Guy’s apparently done with being teased by that because he just drags his eyes slowly down Hal’s body before meeting his eyes and grinning suggestively. 

“Stop that. Stop looking at me like that.”

“You should’ve thought of that before you wore the outfit!” Guy’s back to having the upper hand but luckily the police come to take care of the criminal before he can fully take advantage of it. Kyle is no help, not even trying to defend him, he’s just watching and trying not to laugh. Though he knows that Kyle would probably take Guy’s side so maybe it’s a good thing he’s staying out of this. Hal quickly goes back to the Watchtower. 

\--

There’s what seems like an intervention when he gets back. For him. They’re all sitting at the table for meetings and Bruce is the only one looking even relatively serious. The others all look like they’re stifling giggles. 

“Alright let’s get on with it.” He says, taking the nearest seat. 

“Green Lantern you need to wear longer pants.” Bruce states.

“I don’t see why. There are other people with more revealing uniforms than me and I don’t see you going after them.” He grins. “Unless you’re all distracted by how sexy I am.” 

“That’s not it.”

It seems to be it when some people refuse to meet his eyes.

“Well what’s up? I’ve been wearing a skin tight uniform from the beginning. I just have shorter pants now.” 

“He has a point.” Diana says and Bruce isn’t brave enough to glare at her. 

“But if it really makes you feel better I’ll make them longer.” He stands up on the chair and lets the pants grow longer by a centimetre. “Better?”

“Not even remotely.” Bruce sounds resigned so he knows he’s won. 

“Well if we’re done here, I’ll be off.” With a two-finger salute he makes his way to the exit of the Watchtower. 

\--

“So um. You have a knew uniform?” The news reporter sounds overly polite. Like she actually hates him but can’t show it.

“Yep! Gender roles don’t exist in space so when you spend so much time up there it’s easy to subscribe to that view of gender instead. Besides! I like wearing it and it’s much more effective than my last one.” The part about gender roles isn’t necessarily true but it’s close enough that he feels he can say it. Some species do have gender roles but a lot of them have such differing views of gender and gender roles that it’s easier to just be passive about gender – accepting everything unless it’s harmful. And wearing tight short shorts and a crop top isn’t harmful to anyone except his enemies. 

“Effective?” There’s a nervous tilt in her voice, as if she’s afraid of the answer. 

He just winks and flies off.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Feel free to mention other crack prompts in the comments if you want me to write them. You can ask me for certain p.o.vs, characters, ships (although I'll mainly stick to Hal/Barry but we'll see about other ships) and how serious you want me to treat the prompt and I'll try my best to get it done.


End file.
